If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker Transportation Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Transportation
The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Transportation We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) Transportation
Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) Transportation I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Transportation
Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Transportation "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Transportation
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Transportation Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Transportation
Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) Transportation The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Transportation
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Transportation People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Transportation
The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. Transportation Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Transportation
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 Transportation Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Transportation
The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) In medieval times, people thought that evil spirits could enter a person through an open mouth.
These days they more often leave that way.
-- David Deckert Transportation A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) Transportation
Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Transportation Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous Transportation
