Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) Campo nell'Elba If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Campo nell'Elba
Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Campo nell'Elba "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Campo nell'Elba
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Campo nell'Elba Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Campo nell'Elba
Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev Campo nell'Elba I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Campo nell'Elba
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Campo nell'Elba "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Campo nell'Elba
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Campo nell'Elba Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Campo nell'Elba
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Campo nell'Elba I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Campo nell'Elba
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Campo nell'Elba Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Campo nell'Elba
"Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Campo nell'Elba "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart Campo nell'Elba
There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Campo nell'Elba Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart Campo nell'Elba
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Campo nell'Elba Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Campo nell'Elba
