If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball Livorno Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn Livorno
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Livorno A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Livorno
"Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Livorno "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Livorno
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Livorno Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Livorno
I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Livorno Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Livorno
I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Livorno All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Livorno
It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Livorno Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Livorno
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost "There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) My other wife is beautiful. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Livorno Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Livorno
"I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Livorno The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) Livorno
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Livorno "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Livorno
"I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Livorno "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Livorno
