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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Calvi dell'Umbria What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Calvi dell'Umbria
Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away,
the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) Calvi dell'Umbria All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Calvi dell'Umbria
"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Calvi dell'Umbria I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Calvi dell'Umbria
The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins Calvi dell'Umbria "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Calvi dell'Umbria
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Calvi dell'Umbria I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Calvi dell'Umbria
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Calvi dell'Umbria Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities,
talents, direction, missions, callings.
-- Abraham Maslow Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Calvi dell'Umbria
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Calvi dell'Umbria My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Calvi dell'Umbria
If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Calvi dell'Umbria Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Calvi dell'Umbria
If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Calvi dell'Umbria And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Calvi dell'Umbria
All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Calvi dell'Umbria I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Calvi dell'Umbria
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Calvi dell'Umbria All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) Calvi dell'Umbria
