When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner Lodging "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Lodging
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Lodging The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx Lodging
Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Lodging Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Lodging
"Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and
discipline.
-- Michel de Montaigne He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Lodging No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) Lodging
Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Lodging The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) Lodging
The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Lodging "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Lodging
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Lodging Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Lodging
When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Lodging "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Lodging
"Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Lodging If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Lodging
"I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Lodging "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling Lodging
As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell Lodging "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Lodging
