"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Directories I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Directories
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Directories A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Directories
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton Directories If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Directories
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Directories "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Directories
If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe My other wife is beautiful. "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Directories Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric Directories
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Directories "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Directories
"Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Directories The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Directories
Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Directories The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning Directories
This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers Directories Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Directories
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work Directories Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Directories
"I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Directories "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Directories
