If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) Government Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Government
I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Government Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Government
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Government "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Government
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Government "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Government
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Government While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Government
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Government In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Government
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Government The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Government
The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Government It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Government
"Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Government I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Government
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Government Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Government
"These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Government I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) Government
