The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Weather We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Weather
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson Weather Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Weather
"Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Weather "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans Weather
If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb Weather No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Weather
I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Weather If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Weather
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa Weather "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Weather
Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Weather Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Weather
People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Weather Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf With the catching end the pleasures of the chase.
-- Abraham Lincoln Weather
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb Weather Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Weather
"We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Weather Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Weather
"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Weather Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Weather
