Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Embassies and Consulates The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Embassies and Consulates
"All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Embassies and Consulates "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Embassies and Consulates
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Embassies and Consulates "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Embassies and Consulates
The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves Embassies and Consulates You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you
can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- Embassies and Consulates
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries Embassies and Consulates >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Embassies and Consulates
"People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Embassies and Consulates Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for a piece from "The Sound of Music" We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Embassies and Consulates
Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Embassies and Consulates "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell Embassies and Consulates
A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Embassies and Consulates When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Embassies and Consulates
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Embassies and Consulates The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Embassies and Consulates
No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Embassies and Consulates "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Spinster: A bachelor's wife. Embassies and Consulates
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Embassies and Consulates A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Embassies and Consulates
