We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx Health Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) Health
A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Health I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Health
A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Health A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Health
Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Health Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) Health
"Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Health MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Health
Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Health Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Health
"God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Health In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) Health
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Health "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Health
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Health Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Health
"Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Health I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Health
"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Health If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw Health
