The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell News Agencies Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb News Agencies
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married News Agencies When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken News Agencies
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous News Agencies "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham News Agencies
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) News Agencies Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr News Agencies
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn News Agencies Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison News Agencies
"Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine News Agencies This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston News Agencies
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles News Agencies A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) News Agencies
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton News Agencies The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous News Agencies
blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness News Agencies I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet News Agencies
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop News Agencies Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 News Agencies
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle News Agencies "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life News Agencies
