I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Television The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Television
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Television The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Television
"Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Television Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Television
The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) Television If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Television
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Television "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth Television
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) Television ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Television
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Television Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) Television
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Television The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier Television
Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Television Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Television
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Television This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein Television
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Television Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Man and wife make one fool. Television
