"When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford Festivals The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) Festivals
"Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. Festivals Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Festivals
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw Festivals By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Festivals
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay Festivals "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Festivals
"Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Festivals Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Festivals
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones Festivals The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Festivals
To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Festivals "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Festivals
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Festivals America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman Festivals
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Festivals Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Festivals
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Festivals If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Festivals
Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Festivals "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Festivals
