Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Theatre Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner Theatre
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Theatre I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Theatre
"The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Theatre I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Theatre
"Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Theatre A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Theatre
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Theatre "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein Theatre
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Theatre "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Theatre
"To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Theatre There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Theatre
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Theatre A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Theatre
"I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore Theatre What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry Theatre
Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Theatre Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Theatre
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Theatre Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Theatre
