Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay Volendam "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Volendam
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Volendam "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Volendam
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein Volendam Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Volendam
He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Volendam Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Volendam
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Volendam A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Volendam
Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Volendam Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Volendam
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Volendam The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Volendam
He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Volendam Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Volendam
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Volendam Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Volendam
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Volendam I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Volendam
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) Volendam Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe Volendam
