It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) Tennis "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to Tennis
A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Tennis "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Tennis
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Tennis Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Tennis
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Tennis If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Tennis
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Tennis It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Tennis
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic Tennis Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha Tennis
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson Tennis If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Tennis
"The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Tennis All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Tennis
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone In medieval times, people thought that evil spirits could enter a person through an open mouth.
These days they more often leave that way.
-- David Deckert It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Tennis "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Tennis
When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Tennis "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Tennis
Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Tennis Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Tennis
