I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Directories Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Directories
There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain Directories The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Directories
Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Directories When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood Directories
In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Directories Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Directories
Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Directories "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand Directories
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Directories "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Directories
If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Directories That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Directories
"I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Directories An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Directories
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Directories There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Directories
He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Directories Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Directories
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer Directories English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Directories
