A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Sexuality The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Sexuality
"I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Sexuality The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Sexuality
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi Sexuality "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Sexuality
The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Sexuality "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Sexuality
The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Sexuality My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Sexuality
"The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Sexuality When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Sexuality
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Sexuality "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Sexuality
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi Sexuality The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Sexuality
To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Sexuality If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Sexuality
It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone Sexuality Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Sexuality
I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Sexuality A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Sexuality
