Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Education I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Education
Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Education That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Education
Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol Education "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Education
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Education Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Education
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Education Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Education
"How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Education If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Education
Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Education Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Education
"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Education Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait Education
To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson Education Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Education
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Education I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Education
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Education Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Education
