Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine By Style blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) By Style
If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous By Style "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from By Style
If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) By Style Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson By Style
He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t By Style "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) By Style
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln By Style Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) By Style
"Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman By Style Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West By Style
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth By Style "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be By Style
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be By Style Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown By Style
No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings By Style Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) By Style
No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner By Style I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde By Style
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) By Style The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho By Style
