Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Jazz Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Jazz
If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" Jazz Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards Jazz
blah blah blah blah blah "This is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot) _end]
[text_start]
"Hello Kitty is an icon that doesn't stand for a I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Jazz We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Jazz
Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Jazz A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Jazz
Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Jazz I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Jazz
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck Jazz Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey Jazz
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford Jazz Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Jazz
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker Jazz Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin Jazz
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Jazz "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Jazz
Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T Jazz I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Jazz
Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Jazz Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Jazz
