Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Politics "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Politics
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Politics I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Politics
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Politics Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Politics
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman "Think off-center." (George Carlin) Politics Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Politics
"To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President Politics When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) Politics
Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Politics One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Politics
If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Politics Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away,
the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Politics
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Politics Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Politics
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Politics The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Politics
Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa Politics "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Politics
He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Politics May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman Politics
