"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin Consultants I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Consultants
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Consultants The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Consultants
"The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Consultants If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Consultants
To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Consultants "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton Consultants
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Consultants A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert Consultants
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words Consultants "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler Consultants
"The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Consultants An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Consultants
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. Consultants As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Consultants
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Consultants "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Consultants
Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Consultants Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Consultants
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Consultants The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Consultants
