I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Animals Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell Animals
"Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Animals "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Animals
They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) Animals "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Animals
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Animals Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Animals
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Animals "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith Animals
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Animals No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Animals
ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde Animals In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Animals
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton Animals "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Animals
He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Animals Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Animals
Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Animals Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams Animals
Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Animals Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Animals
