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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Internet The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Internet
An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh "Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) Internet "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Internet
Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Internet This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Internet
"One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Internet "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Internet
"You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Internet We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Internet
The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Internet Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Internet
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Internet I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell Internet
Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Internet ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan Internet
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Internet Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Internet
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Internet We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Internet
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Internet In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Internet
