Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Heat and Air He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel Heat and Air
Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle Heat and Air Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West Heat and Air
Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Heat and Air The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Heat and Air
Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) Heat and Air "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Heat and Air
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Heat and Air Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Heat and Air
I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Heat and Air They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël Heat and Air
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry Heat and Air "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht Heat and Air
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison Heat and Air Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Heat and Air
"I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Heat and Air Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Heat and Air
I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Heat and Air Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford Heat and Air
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Heat and Air "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Heat and Air
