Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Conventions When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Conventions
>From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Conventions "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde Conventions
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Conventions There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung Conventions
"What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Conventions Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence Conventions
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Conventions A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Conventions
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Conventions The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Conventions
If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all Conventions The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Conventions
A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln Conventions blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins Conventions
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Conventions The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Conventions
Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Conventions Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Conventions
Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Conventions Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Conventions
