"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Guides and Directories "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Guides and Directories
"Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Guides and Directories "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Guides and Directories
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Guides and Directories Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Guides and Directories
"If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Guides and Directories blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Guides and Directories
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Guides and Directories "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Guides and Directories
"I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Guides and Directories Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Guides and Directories
"In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. Guides and Directories My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Guides and Directories
Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) "We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Guides and Directories In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Guides and Directories
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u Guides and Directories Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Guides and Directories
"Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle Guides and Directories Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Guides and Directories
"Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead Guides and Directories I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Guides and Directories
