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"Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin. -- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a thing to be acheived. -- William Jennings Bryant Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount. -- Clare Boothe Luce There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats. -- Albert Schweitzer Books A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. - General Douglas MacArthur Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. -- Jim Beggs Books The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. -- Abraham Lincoln Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software. -- Unknown author, Levitating T Books "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Books "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. -- Grandma Moses Books "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. -- Bobcat Goldthwait Books To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. -- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume In medieval times, people thought that evil spirits could enter a person through an open mouth. These days they more often leave that way. -- David Deckert Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. - Elbert Hubbard Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't natural. -- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Books blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the disg Books Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. -- Aldous Huxley If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. -- Mother Teresa "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright Books "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Every flower must grow through dirt. -- Anonymous Books Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right. -- Jerry Garcia To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company. Andre Gide Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house. -- Jean Ke Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. -- Scottish Proverb Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts. -- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth Books Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. -- Lana Turner Books "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? -- Robert Schuller Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. - Rudyard Kipling Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover, Books "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. -- Henry Ford Books No one can earn a million dollars honestly. - William Jennings Bryan I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. -- Douglas Adams Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. -- Vince Lombardi A problem is a chance for you to do your best. -- Buke Ellington The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community. -- William James Books But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. - Andrew Marvell Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner. -- Lord Byron "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Books The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just. -- Abraham Lincoln This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation. -- Anonymous When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of the workmanship. -- John Renmerde The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different. -- Aldous Huxley Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Books To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. -- Karen Sunde When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask is a chance." -- Anon. If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it. -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom Books "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development. -- Russell Baker "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Books Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. -- Tom Robbins "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) I am not young enough to know everything. -- Oscar Wilde Books Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. -- Anonymous In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how many can get through to you. -- Mortimer J. Adler Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Books Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind. -- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. -- Henry Ford Books
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