I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni Souvenirs They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Souvenirs
What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Souvenirs 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Souvenirs
"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. Souvenirs The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost Souvenirs
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str Souvenirs Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Souvenirs
Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw Souvenirs If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Souvenirs
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Souvenirs "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Souvenirs
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) Souvenirs The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Souvenirs
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Souvenirs I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Souvenirs
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Souvenirs "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous Souvenirs
It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Souvenirs Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Souvenirs
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Souvenirs It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson Souvenirs
