What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin C "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers C
"We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley C We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor C
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton C What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe C
"All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All C "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne C
"If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) C Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 C
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon C The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins C
"A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) C I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain C
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig C A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous C
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard C This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) C
"Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) C Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle C
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume C The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp C
