If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John P All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb P
"Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings P Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) P
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov P "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson P
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) P The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) P
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers P Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. P
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb P Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove P
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos P Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler P
I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein P What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln P
The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West P Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show P
"When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell P Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine P
No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake P "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple P
