Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Newspapers Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Newspapers
"He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Newspapers There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Newspapers
"The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Newspapers I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) Newspapers
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Newspapers I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Newspapers
Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Newspapers "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Newspapers
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Newspapers I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev Newspapers
Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Newspapers "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Newspapers
We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Newspapers Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Newspapers
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Newspapers The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Newspapers
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery Newspapers The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Newspapers
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Newspapers The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Newspapers
