The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Agricultural "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers Agricultural
"College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Agricultural I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Agricultural
Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Agricultural Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain Agricultural
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Agricultural Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Agricultural
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Agricultural "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Agricultural
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Agricultural The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Agricultural
"Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Agricultural "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Agricultural
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Agricultural What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein Agricultural
blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Agricultural Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Agricultural
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Agricultural "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Agricultural
Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Agricultural "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman Agricultural
