Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost National Parks "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx National Parks
Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President National Parks To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) National Parks
There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley National Parks "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol National Parks
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous National Parks Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll National Parks
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 National Parks I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) National Parks
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) National Parks "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes National Parks
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe National Parks "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken National Parks
Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway National Parks "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton National Parks
If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers National Parks You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin National Parks
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet National Parks Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous National Parks
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW National Parks Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein National Parks
