One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Klodzko "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle Klodzko
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Klodzko Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Klodzko
Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) Klodzko Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Klodzko
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Klodzko When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Klodzko
I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Klodzko We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Klodzko
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Klodzko I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky Klodzko
Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Klodzko I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Klodzko
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) Klodzko Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Klodzko
Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Klodzko Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Klodzko
Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) Klodzko The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Klodzko
We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder Klodzko Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Klodzko
