I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Babimost Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Babimost
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Babimost A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Babimost
Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Babimost Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Babimost
An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Babimost Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Babimost
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry Babimost I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Babimost
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland Babimost The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Babimost
Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Babimost "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Babimost
blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Babimost The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Babimost
It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger "Think off-center." (George Carlin) May you never leave your marriage alive. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Babimost Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates Babimost
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Babimost "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Babimost
"In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Babimost Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Babimost
