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When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Weather "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Weather
Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and Weather Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Weather
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Weather I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) Weather
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain Weather Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to Weather
"Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Weather Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill Weather
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Weather "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Weather
To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning Weather I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud Weather
"The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Weather I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Weather
It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Weather I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Weather
Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Weather "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) Weather
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Weather "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Weather
