Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Arts and Entertainment Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Arts and Entertainment
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein Arts and Entertainment I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Arts and Entertainment
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Arts and Entertainment Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Arts and Entertainment
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Arts and Entertainment "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Arts and Entertainment
Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Arts and Entertainment A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri Arts and Entertainment
"To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Arts and Entertainment The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Arts and Entertainment
A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Arts and Entertainment The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers Arts and Entertainment
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Arts and Entertainment Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Arts and Entertainment
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Arts and Entertainment "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Arts and Entertainment
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Arts and Entertainment Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Arts and Entertainment
