Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Barlinek The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Barlinek
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Barlinek Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Barlinek
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for a piece from "The Sound of Music" Barlinek Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Barlinek
The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Barlinek A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Barlinek
Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Barlinek "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Barlinek
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Barlinek "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) Barlinek
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Barlinek Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas Barlinek
The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Barlinek "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Barlinek
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Barlinek The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Barlinek
The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Barlinek Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Barlinek
"Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Barlinek Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner Barlinek
