How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Trzemeszno There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Trzemeszno
If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Trzemeszno Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Trzemeszno
Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken Trzemeszno There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Trzemeszno
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Trzemeszno The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Trzemeszno
Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Trzemeszno Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Trzemeszno
... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities,
talents, direction, missions, callings.
-- Abraham Maslow "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) Trzemeszno Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein Trzemeszno
blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait Trzemeszno The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Trzemeszno
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Trzemeszno The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward Trzemeszno
"Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Trzemeszno "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Trzemeszno
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Trzemeszno "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Trzemeszno
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Trzemeszno Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Trzemeszno
