Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Zlotow Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) Zlotow
Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Zlotow The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley Zlotow
"I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson Zlotow There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx Zlotow
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein Zlotow For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Zlotow
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Zlotow No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Zlotow
When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Zlotow "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo Zlotow
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates Zlotow Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Zlotow
I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Zlotow Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard Zlotow
"The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Zlotow The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer Zlotow
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Zlotow When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Zlotow
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Zlotow Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Zlotow
