I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin Maps and Views Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Maps and Views
"Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Maps and Views "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Maps and Views
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Maps and Views "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) Maps and Views
"In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher Maps and Views UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Maps and Views
There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi Maps and Views "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Maps and Views
Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Maps and Views "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Maps and Views
The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Maps and Views Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken Maps and Views
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Maps and Views Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Maps and Views
"You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Maps and Views "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Maps and Views
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Maps and Views Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Maps and Views
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Maps and Views In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Maps and Views
