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If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Newspapers "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Newspapers
Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Newspapers Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Newspapers
Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Newspapers Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy Newspapers
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Newspapers I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Newspapers
How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Newspapers A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Newspapers
Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Newspapers Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
-- Aldous Huxley Newspapers
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Newspapers Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Newspapers
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Newspapers "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink Newspapers
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Newspapers Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Newspapers
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Newspapers To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Newspapers
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Newspapers I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words My other wife is beautiful. Newspapers
