I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Language "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Language
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Language "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Language
When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Language One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Language
"A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Language Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Language
My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Language Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Language
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Language The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Language
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson Language >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Language
Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Language Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Language
If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Language A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher Language
"A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Language A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Language
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Language The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Language
