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I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) News and Media "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw News and Media
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin News and Media If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde News and Media
"Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw News and Media A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 News and Media
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce News and Media Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill News and Media
blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that My other wife is beautiful. News and Media I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain News and Media
For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers News and Media A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill News and Media
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley News and Media No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck News and Media
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) News and Media It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe News and Media
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues News and Media There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger News and Media
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Marriage is a rest period between romances. News and Media "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx News and Media
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman News and Media Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman News and Media
