When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Personal Pages "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Personal Pages
Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Personal Pages "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Personal Pages
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Personal Pages I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) Personal Pages
If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) Personal Pages You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Personal Pages
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Personal Pages In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Personal Pages
This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Personal Pages Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion Personal Pages
It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell Personal Pages It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Personal Pages
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Personal Pages Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Personal Pages
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Personal Pages He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Personal Pages
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th Personal Pages "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow Personal Pages
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Personal Pages Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Personal Pages
