Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Classifieds "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Classifieds
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Classifieds Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Classifieds
Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Classifieds There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Classifieds
Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Classifieds Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl Classifieds
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Classifieds Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Classifieds
"Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Classifieds Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) Classifieds
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Classifieds "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Classifieds
"One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Classifieds If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois Classifieds
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Classifieds Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Classifieds
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Classifieds I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) Classifieds
Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Classifieds He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Classifieds
