I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Maps and Views When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Maps and Views
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Maps and Views Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Maps and Views
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Maps and Views Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Maps and Views
"There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) Maps and Views University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Maps and Views
"The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Maps and Views Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Maps and Views
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) Maps and Views Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Maps and Views
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Maps and Views "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Maps and Views
"Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Maps and Views Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Maps and Views
>From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Maps and Views "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra Maps and Views
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha Maps and Views blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Maps and Views
Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Maps and Views My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Maps and Views
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