The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov Visual Arts I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot Visual Arts
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Visual Arts Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Visual Arts
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Visual Arts Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne Visual Arts
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous Visual Arts "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein Visual Arts
In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Visual Arts I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Visual Arts
The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Visual Arts The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Visual Arts
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas Visual Arts "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Visual Arts
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Visual Arts You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Visual Arts
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Visual Arts Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Visual Arts
The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Visual Arts Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Visual Arts
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. Visual Arts To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Visual Arts
